From achy joints
To the joys of iron and steel
My back once grumbled
But now it’s ready to heal.
Back in the gym
I enter with caution
If I lift with no fear
I’ll consider it a win.
—Farheen’s Note: In my previous post, Sidelined, I shared that I hurt my back at the gym this summer. I was in a rush and didn’t listen to my body cues. The result – a very painful sprained back. OUCH!!
The first few days were painful. I could barely sit, stand or walk. I started physiotherapy and my back started to heal. It took about eight weeks to go from barely moving to walking, doing yoga and eventually using light weights. Being able to move again made me appreciate the benefits of movement.
However, even though my body was healing, my mind was stuck in fear. The gym, once my happy place, was now a place that gave me anxiety. Thoughts of getting hurt again stopped me from going back for weeks.
But earlier this month, I decided to face my fear. Despite the lingering self-doubt, I decided to just get up and go. The familiar equipment brought up a slew of mixed emotions, but my desire to overcome my fear was stronger. I was cautious but determined. As I set myself up and lifted my first set of dumbbells, my reservations started to melt and the last 5 months of self-doubt faded away.
I have gone back a few times since that initial visit. And while I still do struggle mentally with being weaker and less mobile than I was pre-injury, I know that I need to be patient and re-build slowly because I’m not building my body for the moment, but building it for life.
Farheen's Corner 
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