Today marks the 20-year anniversary of my father’s passing. This day always brings a flood of emotions for me, some sad but many happy.
I’ve been thinking about my Dad quite a bit lately. Daddy was not very expressive in his feelings but he often did little things to show his love. Some of my fondest memories are those little things – like riding the subway up and down to see the city, getting a treat after a good parent/teacher interview, Popeyes after a good report card or a chocolate bar to cheer me up when I was sad. WWF was “family time” with Daddy and we grew up cheering for Hulk Hogan, Jake the Snake and of course, the lovely Miss Elizabeth. In his old school Pakistani dad kind of way, I remember him telling me to be wary of boys who “just wanted to be friends” – that was a weird conversation lol.
Even when he was mad at me, he would still wake up early in the morning to drop me to the GO Station at 6:30 am and I remember him insisting on coming with me from dealership to dealership to look for my first car and then helping me with the down payment when I finally found one that I liked . He was one of the first people I told about getting accepted into my MBA program and even though he wasn’t conscience, I know he was proud of me because it was something he always encouraged me to pursue. These are some of the memories I still treasure with me today.
Yes there were many fights and arguments – too many to mention – but in my memories I will cherish even those for it’s all a part of our father/daughter relationship and I would like to think that we worked through all our differences before he left us.
Sometimes it feels like it’s been so long since he’s been gone, other times it’s like just yesterday we were all in the hospital, standing by his bedside waiting to hear the news from the doctors. Time does heal but our memories last forever.
In honour of Daddy’s memory, I wrote this short poem:
Seconds to minutes
Minutes to hours
Hours to days
Days to weeks
Weeks to months
Months to years
Years to a decade
One decade to two
20 years…
20 years since I last saw your face
20 years since I last held your hand
20 years since I saw you laugh, smile or even frown
20 years since I last heard you call my name
20 years since you took your last breath
But only a heartbeat since I last thought of you
Daddy
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